Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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