Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
