forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
