Having a random hookup so left but love u
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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