he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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