okay pat passed out under dana's car
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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