I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
