You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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