She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
