Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
