Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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