i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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