Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
