Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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