After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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