listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
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