we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
