First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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