Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
