So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
