wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
