What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The air was thick with penises
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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