just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
