i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
