It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
