Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
