There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
