Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
