He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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