I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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