Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
