my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
