walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
