She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
