So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
