better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
