You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
