Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I need moral support for this bender
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
