i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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