I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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