I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize