We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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