I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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