i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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