i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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