this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize