Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
