Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
