JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's the barista slut.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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