Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
