gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
