So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
