She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
