i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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