Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
