No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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