Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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