Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
