is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
