and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize