best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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