; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
