So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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