Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize