I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
