ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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