Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
